hopeburnsblue

On October 7, 2015, I self-published a book of poetry with the help of a few friends who served as cheerleaders and accountability buddies. The book came as a surprise to many, though, because I did it in secret. Not the best marketing move--you're supposed to anticipate a book release with lots of preamble--but I honestly had no idea if it would even work out. Indie is a tough field, and poetry is a niche genre besides. And I was right--my book has by no means been a bestseller--but I'm still glad I did it.

The reason I'm writing about this right now is because today is second anniversary to August 20, 2015, the day I decided to up and do it. Forty-three days of quiet preparation ensued, surrounded by the aforementioned handful of friends who encouraged me and showed me the ropes, until I announced October 2 on my personal Facebook page what I'd been working on. Five days later, Patchwork Poetry was released into the world.

So how did this come to pass? Well, that summer, I'd had a bad reaction to a medication which both led to physical illness and silenced my poetry. I got off it within a month, but a medication's effects can take up to thirty days to leave your system. But by the close of this dark time, I started snatching poems down from the stars, it seemed. I felt alive and simply couldn't stop writing. "While at the Park," which opens my book, came to me on August 19 and felt like one of the best things I'd ever written.

At the same time, about a week prior, I had prepared a compilation of poems for Jordan's birthday that I'd written for him over the years. When printing them at Parcel Post, my friend Jason said to me, "This is incredible, Mel. If someone wrote me poems like this, I would be swooning. You have enough material for a book. Why don't you publish?"

And so the seed was planted, though this had been long coming, I felt. Numerous others had said to me over the years that I should publish. When I was a book editor, all of my former author clients were indie, and that inspired me, too. So I went for it, envisioning a compilation format like the binder of poems I'd made for Jordan, but with a conceptual theory: what I aspire to be; people who inspire me; and how Jordan and I have evolved as a second-chance couple. Together, these themes became a portrait of my heart, as patchworked and as beautiful and as bittersweet and hopeful as the cover itself.

Thank you for reading this little glimpse into my book's history. As ever, I am so grateful for everyone's support, pre- and post-publication.



Straight from the heart and imagination of Mel Finefrock, blind writer and musician, emerges a delicately bold collection of exploratory free verse poems
chronicling various aspects of her personal journey. Believing that there is beauty to behold in almost any situation, Finefrock quilts precious and ordinary
moments alike into patchwork poetry that embodies themes of love, friendship, pain, and growth. While unique to her experiences, Finefrock's soul-baring
reflections are also applicable on a universal level and will inspire readers to look inward.

Many newcomers will see the blurb on the back of my book, think, "Cool, a blind poet," and then come away from reading it thinking, "BUT WAIT! How does she imagery?"

This is a perfectly reasonable question, especially for those who don't know me personally. I've answered this on a number of occasions since publishing, but I thought it might be cool to share here in case anyone else was wondering.

So, close your eyes. I see a little more than the light you see through your eyelids. My laptop monitor is a featureless, glowing rectangle (sometimes it's not even a rectangle). I can make out Jordan's silhouette if the lamp on the endtable next to him is turned on. I can see the sky if it's blue enough, grass if it's green enough, or a firetruck if it's close enough. Things like that. But my vision isn't functional enough that I can't walk without my white cane or read/write without Braille or speech output. So for all intents and purposes, I tell most people that I have light perception. It's simpler that way.

My condition is called Cone/Rod Dystrophy, and believe it or not, literally about half of my mom's side of the family is blind. It's actually kind of neat, so I don't want you to feel toooo sorry for us. Blindness can be a pain at times, but blind folks in my family (and everywhere) experience fullness of life. It's just another lens to look through, if you will.

I digress, however slightly. Cone/Rod Dystrophy is a degenerative condition that affects the retinas starting during fetal development and, depending on the strength of the gene causing it, can result in total blindness later in life. This is true in my family's case, as the mutation was particularly strong. Most people I know with CRD retain partial vision and might have one or two other family members with the same condition. If you think of your eye as a camera and your brain as a laptop, your retinas and optic nerves serve as connections between the two. If something is fairly wrong with either of those things, the pictures can be corrupted or even lost.

All told, I had a bit more vision growing up, hence the visual memory evident in my poetry. Even for my love of words, stories come to me in picture form, so I'm all about painting word pictures.

Synesthesia also has considerable bearing on my imagery. I mention it a little in my book, but I'll explain a bit more here. Etymologically, the word "synesthesia" means "senses together," so synesthetes associate senses with each other. For me it's colors. Music, voices, and some ambient sound have color; words and numbers have color in both print and Braille; textures and pain have color; and smell and taste sometimes even have color. It's a harmless condition and one that has been highly stigmatized, but thankfully we're moving into a more accepting space where synesthesia is concerned. Honestly, I think it's a gift; it's like my visual cortex just said, "I'm bored!" and started making things up. It's really enriched my life. I rarely misspell words, I can do mental math pretty quickly, my recall with phone numbers and birthdays makes me my family's calendar ... the list goes on.

I started incorporating synesthesia into my poetry when I discovered other writers in Deviant Art's literature community who had managed it beautifully. Sometimes my synesthetic poetry is literally, "I see this when I hear that"; other times it's more deeply embedded. In my book, "Earl Grey" actually details a synesthetic experience I had while drinking Earl Grey tea. And here's another fun fact: John Bramblitt, my amazing friend who painted the artwork featured on my cover, is also a blind synesthete! Be sure to check out his paintings and his memoir!

I would say you can open your eyes now, but many of you had to in order to finish reading this. Thanks as ever for your support and for stepping into my world!

XXOO,
M

Touched by Love
By Melissa Foster



Fiercely independent Janie Jansen has always believed there were worse things in life than being blind, and she’s spent her life proving it. She’s moved away from her overprotective parents, built a life in New York City, and is one of the top technical editors in her company. That is, until an unfortunate accident turns her life upside down, and she’s forced to give up the very independence she’s worked so hard to achieve.

Kindle: smarturl.it/TBL_REM_Kindle
Kobo: smarturl.it/TBL_REM_Kobo
iBooks: www.melissafoster.com/TBL_REM_…
Google Play: www.melissafoster.com/TBL_REM_…
Nook: Coming soon!
Paperback: Coming Soon!

My excitement over this book release from Melissa rivals, in its own way, the excitement I felt when I published my own first book two months ago. Yes. It's that special to me.

"Why?" you ask. For the past two months, I have been honored to show Melissa, who stepped into my world with ready pen and wide-open heart, anything from how my assistive technology works, to how I use my cane, to how I operate household appliances or choose outfits (not that it's rocket science for this tomboy). Melissa and I have been friends for a year now--we met on December 9 of last year, actually--so being the wonderful empath she is, she's had a headstart on understanding blind culture. But for Touched by Love, she took a crash course in a day in the life of me ... all via Skype and e-mail, with words and expression and communication, all of which are so important in relationships, regardless of ability. Let it never be said, therefore, that as a blind person I don't take things for granted. I thought about my daily life through the lens of someone completely new to my culture, and I realized I don't even give much thought to the fact that I curl a fingertip around the rim of a glass while pouring a Coke, or sweep the floor in rippling motions when I've dropped something.

Janie's story is loosely based upon my experience as a blind person, as well as my rail platform accident last summer. I have reached deep inside myself to share these things, and Melissa has reached deep inside herself to capture and retell them. Never in a million years did I think I'd inspire a book--A BOOK!--and the thoroughness and tenderness with which Melissa has conducted her research so as to create a strong blind character, especially when the accuracy of such representations can be difficult to come by, has spoken to my heart in ways I still can't quite put a finger on.

Anyone knows that where two Melissas come together, there are infinite schemes and shenanigans to be had. We have laughed, we have learned, we have shared, we have created, we have bonded. I have found healing in corners overlooked. She's said that this has been the most challenging book she's ever written ... but I'm here to tell you she's done a beautiful job, and I couldn't be prouder of her work, prouder of her heart, prouder of her allyship toward the disability community, prouder to call her my friend.

All this to say, we can't wait for you to read this story and share in the experience with us! Touched by Love is available for preorder in a variety of formats (see above) and will be released in May of 2016. Come grab your copy and join us in the countdown!

Love,
Mel Finefrock

My heart has broken over many things in life, not excluding the premise for how I injured my leg, which broke my heart in the sense that I came to doubt and question my competency as a blind person. But broken people and things can still love. They can still radiate beauty. They are there to remind us that they are just as whole as they once were, to remind us how very beautiful it is to heal, even if healing comes in ways we don't expect initially. It's what I was trying to convey when I took that picture of the dilapidated piano and guitar--even the broken have a song. But a year and a half later, I think I'd like to amend that statement to say that perhaps the broken sing the loudest. Each time I endure hardship, I come away from it more open, more whole, and more loving than I ever was before.